Ok, I know this is rather lousy. And I know that love and have don't rhyme but I gave up on finding something that really worked.


This is one of my more random pieces....Don't ask what was going through my head when I wrote it because I hardly know.





______________________________





Come to my fantasy island-

An island of make-believe and dreams

where everything is bright and grand.

And where the sun shines bright and the moon
gleams.





Where peace and love replace hate and war

and everyone is everyone's best friend.

Where food and money are plentiful and no one's
mouth begs for more.

Where everyone is truly equal; There is no need
to condescend.





Lies, jealousy, sadness, and fear are unknown
mysteries

in this land of truth, fun, and happiness.

This is the place where you are never alone;

Someone will always be beside you to offer
warmth and kindness.





This is how the world should be

but we- the people of our planet- make it
impossible to have.

Terrorists, enemies, and dictators make it hard to
see

what a wonderful place the world would be if we
take some time to care and love.


___________________________________


Go ahead and comment on how bad it is.

I originally had more at the end but I took it out because it just...blah. If you want to see it just ask.




~Mel

No need for the full stop/period after "grand" because you are continueing the phrase.

It may be best for you to add a comma at the end of everyline apart from the end one.


Overall this is quite lyrical and although poetry isnt my forte I found this ok. It didnt seem to have much flow but it was still good.