++The Begining++

It is glorious, my fifth year is over and my OWLs have been completed! I am wonderfully confident that i have passed. This last year has been a long one but i am glad it is time to move forward into the next.

It has been so long since i have wrote in my journal, though you are new and ebony. Craven has been flattering me with gifts now we have become siblings once more. He is apologising for the feud i belive; not that he is required to. All is forgiven especially since you are so pretty He even had my last name engraved in french on you.

There is so much i wish to say but i am unsure as to where i should start? Life has been so busy lately i find i barely have time to think. Which i rather belive may be a blessing; it still hurts to think about him. He just left, after everything he just left. Oh! I refuse to think about it any more, i can not bare to, i have happier things to record.

For exmaple i must tell you that I am Gryffindor Champion for the tournament! i have rather decided that being adventurous provides a good distraction. That and it allows me to grow closer to my friends their help being wonderful! Shane has agreed to help me any time i need it and Jer has agreed to teach my healing. Mel is the friend i turn to when i want to be normal, not a competitor; she helps in that way. I adore all my friends and my brother and as long as i dont remember to often it hurts less.

Well i imagine i will be back soon,
Farewell.

++Task 2++

Today was the second task in the tournament. I did intend to write about the first but i got rather distracted in between. I had an adventure with April in the dungeon you see, we got lost in a big room, I've also been busy with meeting the other contestants and assessing them. After all one must be aware of her competition.

I rather suppose i should back track and tell you about the first task no? We had to look into the Mirror of Erised and convince our minds to pull out the prize and not see our greatest wish. I manged the task eventually but at the cost of my heart. I did not expect to see what i saw in the mirror. Dorien was there, in his pale glory. I suppose one never gets over there first crush. I saw Papa too, though he was further back. Smiling at me. I always thought i did not desire anything; i believe i was incorrect.

However i did win the task; first place. My friend April and her friend AJ (who i find to be rather impolite) were second and the Hufflepuff entered Aaron was last. It is a shame since i assessed Aaron as the closest to my style of magic. Perhaps i was wrong?

Nevertheless i am worried about the results of the second task. I am confident i choose three related items, whether it was the right three or not is to be seen. I had to show them to my Patronus, the baby bear. He still has no name. Perhaps i shall name him soon, he would like that i am sure. I manged to call him first time for once, i was very delighted.

Oh dear I'm rambling again, well it seems this page is full.
Until next time, Farewell.

++Results++

Today was glorious; not only did i win the second task also but i have spent the day in great company. Jer having been most cheerful. I do believe i care for him greatly, he is a close friend, one of my closest.

The second task results have please me so, i was worried my best would not be enough for my house's pride. For Lion's are very prideful. Nevertheless i currently have 8 points, leading me to be the first. April is close second with 6 points,Aj third and Aaron last. I believe and fear April's instincts will be paired against my wisdom. She is a wonderful competitor.

Oh dear, i will be late for defense class if i do not leave this instant.
Farewell!

++Twists and Turns++

I had almost forgotten of your existance it seems. A lot has happened since i have last wrote, so much so i fear i will need a new diary if i write in too much detail!

It has been difficult for me to read through my past entries, my memories are a little fuzzy and calling back on those feelings has caused me to hurt once more. You see over the past month i have lost my humanity and my last and most vivid memories is of my own tearing flesh and burning blood.

I do not find it a curse, but i have lost much. I suppose i return i have gained so many things. I never wished for this to happen but i am glad the vampire did not kill me. I was rescued, by Dorien's (that still hurts...) sister Alice. She is a wonderful girl.

I suppose now i am one of his kind i will always have a link to Dorien, but i cannot help but feel this will drive him further away not bring him back. Alice believes other wise but i doubt he will return if he senses another vampire at the school. I'm a threat now you see, a predator amongst halls full of prey. How very harsh of me to think of it that way.

I suppose i have also lost a smidgen of my serenity. I went to the H.A.P.P.Y meeting and ended up threatening another girl (Kat). As soon as she abused my friends (Mel, Alex and Ian) verbally and with glares i felt the primal urge to rip her to shreds. I restrained but only through words, i am not used to this side of me. I have always been defensive of my friends but not violently so. And when Craven scolded me i have never felt so wrong, so misbehaved and ill at ease.

My emotions feel foreign and i feel lonely so often. I can no longer touch and hug, people would realise how cold i am. Everything involves being so careful,

What if i make a mistake?