Adult Application

Character Information

Full Name: Steven Robert Olsen
Blood Type: Full
Age: 27
Old Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

Appearance
{20 words minimum. Your character must be believable or will be rejected. MUST HAVE ONE NOTABLE WEAKNESS.} 6'4", miscolored eyes, one brown, one black. he has a scar running down his forearm, the mark of a duel gone lethal. He wears muggle clothes more then wizarding robes, making him stand out.

Personality
{40 words minimum. Your character must be believable or will be rejected. MUST HAVE TWO WEAKNESSES. Please include likes, dislikes, basic traits, and habits.} Steven enjoyes making friends of any age, Dueling, and Quidditch. He dislikes Death Eaters, and cats. He is claustrophobic, hates muggle elevators, and insanely scared of hights. ten feet or above, and he'll head for the first set of stairs to take him back to solid earth. Stories in houses dont bother him that much, but him against open air freaks him out. {63}

History
Steven is light going, friendly to Muggleborn and Purebloods alike. He hates having to take sides. He doesnt like cats, but will put up with them to an extent. His father was in slytherin, and a Death Eater. He fought with Steven a lot, and, on his 17th birthday, took off, leaving everything behind. His father tried to hunt him down, force him to become a death eater, and, in the battle that followed, Steven killed his father. Thats how he got the scar in his arm. He is hopeing to become the Hogwarts Duelling master, and head of Ravenclaw, his old school house.

Place of Residence {Must be in the UK or RoI}: Small house in Bristol, UK

What was the secret code from the rules? {Note: It wasn't Harry Potter related at all so don't try to make it up. You must have this or you will not be sorted. If you REALLY read the rules you should know what this is.}: You are exactly my brand heroin

Denied.
Your app doesn't make sense...
First: Your character isn't an adult if they are 11 years old.
Second: Your physical description is severely lacking. It isn't detailed at all... Also, lethal means deadly. If he didn't die, the spell wasn't lethal.
Third: Personality is nonexistent. It is nearly all history.

Fix these things and seriously overhaul your app and you will be accepted.

oh my... i put it as 27, but i guess my brother messed around with my stuff on word. I'll fix them now.

edit: and to answer your second part, the lethal part was explained in personality, where he killed his father.

third: i noted that i put most personality as history.


fixed all 3. next?

What Finn neglected to mention is that your personality section is nearly half the length that it needs to be (It needs to be 40 words. Yours is around 28) and you lack personality weaknesses. Being susceptible to something everyone is does not count, nor do fears unless they are completely and utterly irrational to the point that it affects their life. It's stuff like...extremely moody, irrational, stupid, anything that isn't exactly a desirable trait to have.

Also, you're missing a word from the code.



Sorry to make you keep editing stuff.



~Mel

Aight, added two personality weakness' and the personality paragraph is now 63 words long.

Anyone?

Sorry.

I'm still not buying these weaknesses, and I feel like it's because you're afraid to make him imperfect. Give him two traits that would be a reason for someone to hate him, or something that would make him annoying even.


~Mel

Full Name: Marcus Flavius
Blood Type: Pure Blood
Age: 40
Old House: Gryffindor

Appearance:

Marcus is a shot fella ( 5'8 ) He is white skinned, has dark brown eyes, and long hair. Hes long beard tells a lot about what kind of person he is. He likes to wear robes and heavy boots. He has a huge scar running down his leg from a battle with death eaters when he has a young guy.


Personality:

Marcus is a quite guy and likes to keep a lot of secrets. He is very smart
and has an answer for every question. Marcus will make fun of you if he wants to and will certainly always outsmart you. He is not to be messed around with.


History:

Marcus was originally born in Korce, a little town in Albania. His whole family were Pure-Bloods. Hes father from a very young age had studied the dark arts and passed it on to his child, Marcus. Marcus is known for his incredible skills with dark magic as he once showed when he faced three death eaters and beating them, but leaving the battle with a huge scar on his leg. Marcus is now more powerful than ever.

Can you please follow the rules and post your own topic? Not to mention, you didn't even finish your application. You're missing a History, Place of Residence, and Secret Code.

Oh, and by the way- I'll be able to tell if you haven't actually read the rules for the code. I'm not as stupid as people tend to think I am.




~Mel